Saturday, October 8, 2011

FALLing in love

I don't know what it is about the beginning of fall and the beginning of Spring but both seasons seems to do something to people. People are nicer, fresher in a sense. You go to the grocery store greeted by huge mums and vibrant apples and a smile can't help but creep itself across your face.
I have several fall memories that I hold as close to me as a cup of hot cider. One is being at my grandmother's house in Tupelo during football season. She lived off an old gravel road lined with a dairy barn, a silo and huge ancient oaks. I can still hear the sound of the gravel underneath her Buick hatchback Skylark (which of course we were allowed to drive at 10 years of age!!). Being a family of 14 cousins we were never shorted for imagination and games outside. My cousin, Blair, and I would always rake all the leaves into the shape of our 'dream house' complete with rooms, hallways and anything else we could come up with in our 7 year old heads. Then the boys would come out and those hallways quickly turned into football boundary markers. We would play two-hand touch (TACKLE for siblings) football until the fireflies came out to be caught in glass jars.
I love fall. I love the smells, the football, the food and the family that goes effortlessly with fall. I cannot wait to start traditions with my 2 and can only pray the world of movies, video games and iPads never takes the place of fallen leaves and imagintation!
"Grandma's house is where cousins go to become best friends"
Caramel Stuffed Apple-Cider Cookies-I mean, YUMMMM!!!!

The GREATEST place to tailgate!!! okay, I might be a little biased but I do believe you have to go at LEAST once. You won't see beautiful girls in dresses and heels for a football game anywhere else in this world.

Friday, September 23, 2011

a brand new look

I love change. Call me strange, odd, weird, whatever but I love it. I was raised as the only daughter with three brothers to a naval officer father so moving was bred into me at birth. I was born in Hawaii and moved 3 times before I was even 5. SEVERAL moves later I found myself at Ole Miss for 4 years and realized that was the longest I had ever "lived" anywhere. I don't have a house that I 'grew up in' per say, I don't go home and hang out with friends I've known since kindergarten or see teachers that taught me in 4th grade. Rather, I have compiled a laundry list of memories from places and people here and there that has shaped my childhood and much of who I am today.
I wasn't allowed to meet a stranger or be shy. When you're a navy 'brat' you have to be willing to "make new friends but keep the old" as the ancient saying tells you so. This happens to be something I value in myself and carry around as 'my thing'.
So, I've decided to change the name of this blog since SO many people read it {insert chuckle here} and were probably tired of seeing Jay, Emily, Tripp and baby sister on the way on my header being that she's 15 weeks old now!
I have had the name 'Ruffled Wishes' on the brain now for some time and since I can't really change the name of my business I decided I could always change the name of this blog. Ruffled is a combination of my maiden name, Ruff, and how I feel most days these days. Most of us like others to think we have it all together, no ruffles or ripples, and deep down realize that this is very far from the truth behind closed doors. I on the other hand wear my heart, life and faith on my sleeve....with or without ruffles on it. With God, we are not called to be fearful but trusting and confident that with Him we are safe, cared for and loved. I don't fear what ruffles God chooses to cast our way because I know that WITH Him it will create a stronger woman, mother, wife, daughter and friend out of me. Just like the quote from my favorite movie, Steel Magnolia's {such oscar winning material;)} "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger".....
Wishes is from my married name, Witcher, and how I actually go about my life....wishfully thinking and trusting God beyond my husband's understanding. Not much bothers me and that really bothers him sometimes! I have wishes for my marriage, wishes for my son and daughter and my own life. Wishes are something we are told to make on stars and believe in at a very young age and I'm a firm believer that it's wishes that allow some to take one more step, smile during dark times or even live one more day.
So, here we have Ruffled Wishes.
Ruffled Wishes is what I have and I'm proud of it!

Monday, August 15, 2011

2 months 2 fast

When you say something is 2 months away it feels like a lifetime. When that thing has passed it seems that it came and went too fast and you long for the time BEFORE it happened. I read a survey on happiness the other day and research showed that people are happiest up to 8 weeks BEFORE a vacation or fun event is occuring and this made me stop and think about our family and me 8 weeks ago....
We were headed towards the hospital in anticipation of our sweet little girl to arrive. Tripp was not yet a big brother and we were still a family of three. That was BEFORE it happened and needless to say we were thrilled beyond words. But now, 8 weeks has passed and she's 2 months old just like that! Tripp is a precious, protective and proud big brother and we are now a family of four (and happy to stay that way;)!
We had the chance to finally get out to Jay's family cabin in north Mississippi this weekend. Jay deserved some downtime and we deserved some time to get down with Jay;). Sunday it was just us four for the first time in 8 WEEKS!!! Tripp drove the boat and Sophie had her very first ride, pure blessed bliss is all I can say.







Posted by Picasa

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Let's Hear It for the Boy!

I was inspired today by my sweet friend Cat at Contant in Chaos to pray for my husband(more than normal anyway)and hope that he knows how much I love him. I know we, as mothers, sacrifice a lot for our spouses and children but that sacrifice would be twice as hard (at least in my life) if my husband didn't sacrifice in return for his family.
Anyone that knows Jay personally will giggle when you mention his name due largely to the fact that he does just that, makes you giggle! It was what drew me to him from the first meeting and it's honestly the main trait that has kept me coming back through all the ups and downs. I'm not sure he realizes that when he's not trying to be funny is when he's truly the funniest and I love this about him.
-He is one of the hardest workers and most self-determined and self-disciplined (unless it comes to sweets) men I know next to my dad. He is gifted at what he does on a daily basis and those that come in to contact with him on a work level sense this immediately.
-He's an amazing athlete and I can only pray (believe me there is nothing too small) that Tripp has an iota of his ability.
*on a sidenote, I consider myself pretty athletic too so Sophie does have that going for her too*
-He's loyal to a fault but if he has to have one, I don't mind it being loyalty at all!
-Of course he's a fabulous father and I know Tripp already admires him and Sophie will soon have him wrapped around her finger.

Sunday we will celebrate our SEVENTH anniversary and although this doesn't sound very long to most of you out there (since I have like 3 readers:), we dated for 5 years LONG DISTANCE before we even got engaged so really that 7 should have an asteric alongside it when we celebrate...not to mention I'm a Rebel and he's a bulldog. Making that work alone is a test from God!
He is still the love of my life and when I look back at all we've been through together I grin a little wider every time knowing that we made it and will continue to make it as long as God allows us on this earth....together.
He never reads our blog but if he just so happens to-
Our family and I am better because of you and I honestly thank my God every time I remember you and all He's walked us through with His guidance and never ending grace!

Our first dance, so young

Typical photo of Jay when we try to take a picture

The day Tripp was born. He was so proud it was a boy that would carry hi namesake.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Plus One

Well, we are officially plus ONE, one month later. Sophie is the "fweetest" (tripp language) and we already can't imagine our family without her here.
Sophie Ann
June 14th, 2011
6 pounds, 10 ounces
8:29 am

Monday, June 6, 2011

A Party to Remember

Tripp's Birthday party was Saturday and we celebrated with a sports theme. He kept telling Jay and me that all he wanted was "hard balls" at his party and we weren't really sure what to make of that until we realized he meant REAL balls that he could throw, not the plastic ones we let him use inside! So, it went off without a hitch
(8 days out from having little girl)and he is still saying that he loved his birthday!
The main table-
Baseball cupcakes (made by me), strawberry cake with the goal post topper, game dogs, peanut 'putter' and jelly sandwiches, chip shots (chips) and peanuts

The cake which was DELICIOUS!!!!

Cookie pops made by Sugarbaby's

I did the stickers and they are waterproof and removable-29:11 Creations

He wouldn't blow out his own candle so Jay and I took charge

LOVED his jersey shirt made by my sweet friend Jamie at Goochie by Jamie.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

On the Calendar

Well, our date is set for little sister to arrive, unless of course she decides to appear on her own time. The doctor called this morning and we are scheduled for Tuesday, June youngest brother's birthday!
This is totally bittersweet for me and I'm open to admitting that now. I mentioned to Jay the other night that I'm ready to not be pregnant anymore but not so sure I'm 'ready' for a baby. But, is anyone really ever READY??? Not at all!!
For now I'm just praying that Tripp adjusts well and my brain stays in tact....or at least somewhat in tact.
Any advice is welcome on going from one to two.....

Monday, May 2, 2011

Tornado Relief Drive

I can't help but have a broken heart for all those affected in North MS and AL with the recent tornadoes. I know God is calling me to take action and I'm blessed that I work with an amazing group of women that will help! My Arbonne team has compiled a list of products Arbonne offers that were being requested for victims and with every purchase of one of these items an identical item will be donated....ONE for ONE!! There is no limit or minimum on what you can buy/donate so PLEASE help us in this effort!!!
Below is a sample order form and you can purchase online as well at

PLEASE forward this to your friends and family and email me at
with any questions or orders!!

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

New Baby anxiety

I found this on a blog I love and got a kick out of it! Glad to know I'm not the only one feeling the way I feel (and I'm sure Jay has felt this entire time) Enjoy and smile.....

From a reader-
I am currently 37 weeks pregnant with my second child (another boy!). My first, Jack, is three and is the light of our lives, although we're finding out that three is a challenging age. Envelope pushing is his hobby, I think. But he's funny as all get out and we're left in stitches most of the time.
Anyway, I'm writing because, frankly, I'm scared out of my wits about having another baby. Tell me that I didn't just screw up a good thing by getting pregnant again, even if it was a totally planned pregnancy.

(me with Isaac and newborn Abbey)
Well, all I can do is tell you how I felt.

With every single baby, but the first (because I was clueless), I had TOTAL new baby anxiety. When I'd find out I was pregnant, I'd be overjoyed and blah blah blah, and then morning sickness would set in, my house, schedule, EVERYTHING would become more and more unraveled and I'd just panic. What the heck did I do? I can't handle the kids I have already, I'd think. Why did I think adding another to the mix was a good idea?

And then during the second trimester I'd feel all good and Pottery Barn Kid-ish, where I'd picture everything going so smoothly and color-coordinated and smiley.

And then during the third trimester I'd be huge and tired and crabby and impatient, especially at the end. Those last two weeks (and I mean weeks 38-41...many girls don't get there, and let me tell you, it takes you to a whole new level of pregnancy), I'd really be freaking out. I would look around at my house, at the toys I'd have to kick to the basket, because I couldn't bend down to pick them up. At the laundry basket I couldn't carry. At the meals I didn't have the energy to cook. At the same time I could have pulled that baby out myself. Better out than in, I'd think. I'd be haunted by those words weeks later.

And then again...those first 2 weeks after the birth I was still on a high. "Oh look at me, losing weight, and handling it all so well, and I'm dressed cute too, with my baby in the Bjorn and my clean shiny toddlers at my side!"

And then CRASH, sleep deprivation really catches up, my milk comes in, my mood crashes down, my appetite can't be satisified, my weight goes right back up, my clothes are all dirty, maternity pants are my only option, my husband can't do anything right, and don't even think about touching me mister, a trip to the grocery store sets me back days, a shower is my biggest accomplishment, and I would think, "I am a miserable no good mother and everyone else does this better than me."

I followed this exact pattern every single time. You'd think I'd learn, don't you? Everytime I'd say, "Oh it's not going to be like last. I'm really going to lose that baby weight right away, I'm really going to stay on top of that laundry, I'm really going to be super sweet to my husband even though I want to say a million sarcastic things about how he gets to sit down and eat lunch and go to the bathroom by himself. I'll make sure I have cute post-baby clothes, wear earrings and makeup and have great meals all set up and that will change everything."

And it never did.

The only thing that changed is that I stopped being so hard on myself for feeling this way.

Stop fighting these feelings and most importantly stop feeling like there is something wrong with you for having them! Maybe some women handle all this new baby stuff, and ups and downs, and back and forths, without merely a bat of the eye. Or maybe they just say they do and really don't. Who knows, and who cares.

The most important thing you can remember is that every stage of bringing a new soul into this world does NOT last forever. I know that in the midst of morning sickness, or the last trimester or the first 3 months of adjustment I would forget this. I would think, "I can't do this forever!" forgetting completely that I didn't have to! Things would change, get easier, or just get to be a new normal. Change isn't change when you get used to it...when it becomes regular.

You are afraid that your routine won't stay the same and your schedule won't either?
You are right, it won't.
You will need a new routine and a new schedule.
With the experience you gained with your first newborn, you will have that much more knowledge to add and find more quickly what works and doesn't for you.

Pay attention to what works and what doesn't.
If going to a playgroup makes you all crabby and out of sorts, you toddler tired and your baby fussy, then don't go for a couple months or forever if you want.
If it makes you feel energized and happy to go, then make it a priority.
Start thinking about what makes your day easier and what makes your kids peaceful.
Stop thinking about what others outside your family want, need, expect during this time.

If it makes you stress to have a dirty messy house, most people would say, "Oh we'll just have to get used to letting it go."
Well, I'm the same way, and I tried to be laid back about it, all it did was make me miserable and panicky and depressed.
I gave a couple of very specific jobs to my husband so that he could help me, and I made keeping my house cleaned and straightened a priority. I found places for the new baby things, and I made sure to pick up a room whenever I got a chance.
It was the only order I had in my life at that time, and I craved it.

You are afraid that you won't have as much patience?
You won't.
You will be tired.
Who has patience when they've been up all night?
But you know what?
Every first child needs a little less patience in his life.
And he will share the importance and love and thank God for that.
When I think of how much my husband and I were both in my first son's face all the time, I think probably the best thing that ever happened to that kid was his baby sister.
Don't ever ever entertain the idea in your head of "poor Jack". Every kid can see, sense, smell, pity in his/her mother's eyes and not only does it scare the crap out of them it's a recipe for disaster. The smart ones will manipulate like crazy because they can. This could lead to never ending behavior issues. No pity!

Here are some practical tips:
With each of my babies, I handed over the bedtime routine of the older ones to my husband. Maybe the kids had to get used to that at first, but we were very consistent with it and in days it was no big deal. He did bath, books, bed, whatever it took, so that I could either go to bed early, feed the baby peacefully, or maybe even run around the house and pick up if I had a burst of energy. My husband also would give me a break after his work day...he'd take the kid(s) outside or just keep them entertained for a little while so I could shut my brain down and just be with the baby.

Keep the things that don't have to change as consistent as possible. Mealtimes, bedtimes, etc. At the same time, lighten up a little too. You have to find that new schedule, and this might mean tweaks to the old one here and there.

Start now saying "OUR baby." Everytime. Include your son in picking outfits out, giving baths, putting on diapers, almost everything. Ask him what he thinks. Brag about him so he hears you. Not "he's handling it so well" like it's a shocker, but little specific things. It's so hard but make an effort to spend time with him alone, even if it's for 5 minutes on the floor. Ignore jealous attention getting behavior...the bigger deal you will make of, the more it will continue. Pick your battles. If you feel guilt or pity, like I said, you will wallow and whine and NOT be self-assured and matter of fact, which is what all kids need.

Don't do things that stress you out. If I had a pediatricians appt. then the rest of the day, sometimes the rest of the week, I did nothing. Anticipate your breaking point, and try to stay below it. Make changes, be brave!, say no, cancel plans, don't feel pressure to keep up with what it seems like everyone else does.

I know everyone says "sleep when the baby sleeps" but I never ever could! The more I'd try the more I'd stay wide awake with the pressure of trying to get my "one and only chance at sleep". Sometimes I would just sit and relax, but what made me feel best, was catching up. Straightening up, running through the house and doing a quick vacuum or something like that. That would give me the peace of mind and more energy.

Most importantly, remember those that have gone before you in this motherhood journey. I would sometimes think of my grandmothers, mothers of 7 and 9, and how just down-to-business, matter-of-fact they were, and with tight times, and very few of our modern conveniences to help them.

I once asked my Grandma Beilein, with desperation, after I had my first two and just felt so overwhelmed, "How did you do this with 9 kids?"

She looked at me like I was crazy and said, "Well I didn't have them all at once!"

"That's it", I thought? That's all the advice you are going to give me?

And to this day, I think it's the best thing I've ever heard her say.

You learn, you grow, you find your way as a mother, one child at a time.
Being a mother of one is different from two, and from three and so on and so on.
Be open to the change, and that means not beating yourself up along the way.
You can listen to others, read books, ask advice, but really it's YOUR journey.
Listen and trust yourself most of all.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Tickled what?

What a fun weekend we had with our most precious family and friends! Jay and I did not find out the sex of baby #1 and for some reason, although adorned in pink, I was convinced I was an 'all boy mom'. But, once again I am not in control and can't wait to watch our precious new bundle come in to this world and bless us as much and more as Tripp.
Adorable shirts made by my sweet and talented friend, Jamie Hatfield. They were perfect no matter the color.

Center of the dining/food table

Branches with 'It's a boy' and 'It's a Girl' clips for guests to wear their guess

Oh, the cupcakes!!!! There are no words to express the beauty of these and the taste was even better! Thanks, Kristen Mullen with Crumb!

When it was all said and done....

They are both going to need their rest because....

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Toys? Who needs toys??

I have started 'nesting' and totally wish God would give me Incredible Hulk muscles while doing so. The urge to rearrange every room of my house goes hand in hand with this crazy phenom! Tripp definitely benefitted from one day's nesting session. He got a super clean and organized closet in his big boy room complete with enough area to play! He also got to play with all the super cool BOXES.....umm,dude, we have hundreds of dollars of toys upstairs, in your room and in our keeping room but you were more than thrilled with boxes?? Good times that bring back memories for all generations I'm sure!